


Strange and Unusual

by cuddler_of_words



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-24
Updated: 2017-03-05
Packaged: 2018-09-19 15:50:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9448883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cuddler_of_words/pseuds/cuddler_of_words
Summary: Teal’c wondered who was more confused. Himself, about this custom, or O’Neill, who did not seem to understand why Teal’c had never heard of it despite his being born and raised on a completely different planet. Set early in season 1.





	1. Chapter 1

It was just sitting there. Small, egg-shaped, and coloured the same gold as the inside of a Goa’uld mothership. That alone was enough to set Teal’c on edge as he stared at the object from the doorway of his quarters. For a brief moment he felt a surge of longing for the staff weapon that he had relinquished to the armoury, but then he took a deep breath, recalled some words of wisdom that Master Bra’tac had once told him, and stepped into the room. The object remained still, resting benignly against the pillow of the bed that he seldom used. Slowly and with great care Teal’c continued to stalk forwards until his knees were a hair’s breadth from the sheets.

Upon closer inspection he could clearly see that the object was covered in some sort of stiff material which was crinkled and reflected the harsh light of the room. There were also words placed at regular intervals across the surface, although their meaning was lost to him. For a moment Teal’c considered his next move. He could call out in the hope that some passing member of the SGC could come to his aid, or he could hope that it wasn’t some sort of explosive device and attempt to remove it from the room. Cautiously, he reached out a hand towards—

“T? What’cha doing?”

Teal’c snapped his head around to see ColonelO’Neill standing in the doorway, watching him with an amused smile on his face.

“I am attempting to determine the identity of this object.” Teal’c replied. Which for some reason cause O’Neill’s smile to grow wider.

“It’s an easter egg.”

“A what?”

“An easter egg.” O’Neill repeated. “It’s chocolate.”

“Chocolate?”

“Just open it up, you’ll see.”

Teal’c frowned, but reassured by O’Neill’s apparent knowledge of the situation he returned his attention to the ‘easter egg’. It did not appear to have moved in the time that he had taken his eyes off it. It was still sitting propped against his pillow, although now it seemed slightly less ominous.

With careful fingers Teal’c reached out and picked the egg up in his hand. It had less weight than he had expected, almost feather-light, and the material was rough against his palm. He glanced back at O’Neill and received only an encouraging hand gesture. Resisting the urge to growl in frustration Teal’c began to search for a way to open the egg, pressing his thumb firmly into its surface, and almost dropped it in surprise when his thumb punched through the exterior with a sharp snap. The inside was apparently hollow and upon further inspection the material peeled away easily and crinkled in a surprisingly satisfying manner.

“Probably should have mentioned that they’re a bit delicate.” O’Neill said as Teal’c broke some of the mass away from the rest of the mass and tasted it.

“It is… very sweet.” He said. Chocolate, O’Neill had called it. DanielJackson had offered him chocolate a few days ago, five small squares broken off from a larger bar, and although the name of the food was the same the taste seemed to be different, sweeter, more creamy.

“That’s why people here like it.” O’Neill replied.

“Is it customary for your people to find small egg-shaped sweets on their beds?”

“Only at easter.”

Teal’c wondered who was more confused. Himself, about this custom, or O’Neill, who did not seem to understand why Teal’c had never heard of it despite his being born and raised on a completely different planet.

“Easter, it’s a local holiday.” O’Neill continued in an attempt to explain. “There’s a big long religious history to it, remind me to get Daniel to explain it to you sometime, but all you need to know is that on easter the people on this planet wake up and find eggs like that one hiding in their rooms.”

“These foods are hidden? For what purpose?”

“So that you can find them.”

How this man made straight-forward answers so incredibly confusing was either a gift or a well-practiced skill.

“Why would I wish to find them? And who hides them?”

“You find them so you can eat them. And they’re hidden by the Easter Bunny.”

“Easter… Bunny?”

“Yup.” O’Neill nodded sagely. “Fluffy little thing, sneaks in while you’re sleeping.”

“How does this creature evade the security of this facility?”

“Magic.”

“That is not a satisfactory answer.”

“No, it is not.”

“O’Neill, this is a significant flaw in your defensive systems, and—”

“Teal’c,” O’Neill cut him off. “Relax. The Easter Bunny isn’t a system lord, or some evil entity intent on our destruction. It’s cute and it’s fluffy and it brings you chocolate.”

Teal’c frowned. Such holes in the SGC’s security could not be ignored, but if O’Neill was not worried about the Easter Bunny then perhaps it truly bore no threat to him or the base.

“I’ll look into it, if you’re really worried about it.” O’Neill offered.

“That will not be necessary. If you say that this being can be trusted, then I am content.”

“There you go.” O’Neill smiled, backing out of the doorway with a wave. “Enjoy your chocolate!”

Teal’c watched him leave, and only when O’Neill was out of sight did Teal’c gently shut the door, sit cross-legged on the floor, and enjoy his chocolate in earnest.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This time, he was prepared.

“ColonelO’Neill, I require your assistance.”

O’Neill’s head snapped upwards from his desk with a look as if he had just been spared execution.

“Oh? With what?”

“I have been informed that it is almost Easter.” Teal’c said, walking into the room and coming to stand in front of the desk.

“It is. In two days’ time, in fact.” O’Neill replied.

“Indeed.” Teal’c continued. “And as this is the case, I believe that I have enough fore-warning to capture footage of the Easter Bunny.”

“That’s not gonna be easy. The Easter Bunny’s pretty wily.” O’Neill said. Teal’c watched as he frowned in thought and leaned back in his chair, hands crossing behind his head, appearing to give the matter consideration.

“This base is already monitored by many security devices. I believe that I could use those as well as additional equipment to discover the creature.”

“Even with all the cameras up we didn’t catch sight of him last year. And you went over those tapes for hours.”

“That is true. However, I believe that this year I have the advantage. I also believe that you will be more than willing to assist me, given that the alternative is attempting to complete your paperwork.”

“Touché.” O’Neill replied with a grin.

 

They set the cameras up in strategic positions around Teal’c quarters in order to provide optimal coverage. One camera was placed underneath his bed so that it could observe the only door into the room, hidden from sight by a pair of briefs that O’Neill had stolen from the chest where Teal’c kept his spare BDU’s; another four were stationed in each corner of the room, hidden by more items of stolen clothing; and the final camera was concealed behind a line of candles so that it could observe the vents in the ceiling.

“From where did you gather all of these cameras?” Teal’c asked as he adjusted the angle of the one sitting closest to his bed.

“Daniel and Carter put in an order for them a while back.” O’Neill replied. He too was busy with one of the cameras, making sure that it was properly concealed underneath the rim of a green hat suspiciously similar to the ones that DanielJackson sometimes wore on missions. “Apparently they kept breaking the ones that we already had on base. Stressed the hell out of the quartermaster.”

“Will they not miss these ones?”

“I don’t think so. There’s a whole tub of them down in equipment store 4, I was tempted to just take them all.”

“If there are more then perhaps we could take some more to set up a perimeter outside this room.”

“Teal’c, I’m pretty sure that’s what the base cameras are for.”

“Very well.” Teal’c replied. He went back to adjusting the camera, turning it on and checking the battery life. It was fully charged, as indicated by a simplified depiction of its power source, and an inspection of its storage capability showed no previous recordings that may impede upon its recording time. The length of the recordings would leave something to be desired, but if he turned the device on at 16:00 hours and left it running until 08:00 the following day that should provide an appropriate window of time with which to capture the Easter Bunny on film.

“All done?” O’Neill asked.

“Indeed.” Teal’c replied, switching the camera off once again. This time he would not be outmanoeuvred. This time, he was prepared.

 

16:00 came and went. O’Neill had advised him that the creature would likely be suspicious or simply scared away if he were to lurk by his quarters. And as O’Neill had opted to spend the evening at his home, despite Teal’c’s attempts at persuasion, Teal’c busied himself about the base. For a time he occupied himself in the gym, distracting himself with burn of muscle and the rhythm of his breath. When he finished it was 19:20 and his stomach was beginning to make noises of protest, so he showered and then occupied his time further in the commissary.

Although O’Neill and CaptainCarter often complained about the state of the food provided Teal’c often found himself satisfied by what was on offer. Meals while in the service of Apophis had mostly been wild game, caught and cooked while on campaign, and dried meat and vegetables while on long flights through space. Fruit and other sweet foods were a luxury that the Goa’uld reserved for themselves, unless one knew how to forage through Chulak’s thick forests for berries or wild fruit trees. He had long preferred Drey’auc’s cooking to rations. His personal favourite of all her meals was wild game stewed so tender that it almost became soup, and the mere memory of it had often sustained him better than rations.

Tonight the commissary was serving its usual variety of foods, and Teal’c filled his tray with a large slice of steak and an equally large bowl of all of the fruit he could find before settling down at an empty table. He ate slowly, but eventually he could stretch the meal out no longer and so he left to distract himself with kel’no’reem.

As his quarters were now unavailable he sat down with his handful of spare candles in one of the many spare guest rooms. The gentle flicker and warmth helped to ease his restlessness and it was easy to glide along in the calm of his own thoughts. When he roused himself he felt rested and well and discovered that several hours had passed.

At 02:00 hours the SGC felt calmer. Although the lighting was the same level, unwilling to yield to the days and nights of the planet, there was a lethargy amongst the personnel now. There were fewer men and women wandering the halls, and the few that did were either white-coated scientists or BDU-clad soldiers. All of them seemed a little sleepy but returned his nod of greetings as he passed.

For some time he wandered the halls before finally, at a loss of anything else to do, he made his way to the room that housed the recorded security footage. There was a woman sitting in front of one of the monitors and she greeted him with a wave as he walked in. The name on her uniform read Clarice Smith.

“Hey, Teal’c,” she said in greeting, motioning to a free chair by her side. “Colonel O’Neill warned me that you might drop by. I’m sorry to say that I haven’t seen any sign of the Easter Bunny yet.”

“There is still time.” Teal’c assured her. He declined the chair and instead peered at the grainy footage of the gate-room on one of the screens. The chappa’ai sat inert against the ramp, calm and unmoving as if it were made of stone. Sargent Siler was a small figure by its base and appeared to be using an overly large instrument to adjust something on one of the large metal clamps that kept it upright.

“I’ve got the hallway outside your room on monitor seven.” ClariceSmith said. She gestured to one of the screens on the top left row and when Teal’c peered closer he did indeed recognise the hallways as his own. It was quiet. Occasionally there would be a flicker of movement but this would quickly become someone about to walk into the recording frame.

Teal’c shifted his feet a little further apart and clasped his hands behind his back, settling into a more comfortable stance. He remained like that and watched the screen until ClariceSmith finished her shift and was replaced by an older man with greying hair and a bemused smile, and then he stayed and watched on as the hallways began to take on a life of their own.

“How long have you been here?”

O’Neill’s voice at the doorway broke him out of his concentration. He seemed frustrated at Teal’c’s patience. Teal’c fought the urge to grin.

“I have been in this room since a little after 02:30.”

“That long? Jeez, Teal’c, it’s after 06:00, you’ve been watching that screen for almost four hours!”

“I have a nine hour shift watching these screens.” The man who had replaced ClariceSmith said mildly.

“And they should probably pay you more for it.” O’Neill replied, having the grace to look somewhat chastised. “So did you find anything?”

Teal’c had been so caught in watching the screen, hoping that every little flicker of movement might be the Easter Bunny, that he was reluctant to admit that his adversary continued to remain elusive.

“Maybe the cameras in your room will have had better luck.” O’Neill said upon his silence. Immediately Teal’c’s spirits rose. He said goodbye to the man at the monitors and then followed O’Neill out of the room, unable to contain the sparks of final hope that tingled under his skin. Unfortunately, they didn’t last long.

He knew that his plan had failed the instant that he opened the door to his quarters and failed to see an Easter Egg on his bed. He checked the tapes thoroughly, as did O’Neill, but there was no sign of the Easter Bunny.

 

“Perhaps it knew of our plan.” Teal’c said later, as he and O’Neill entered the locker room. While he may have failed to capture footage of the Easter Bunny, at least O’Neill had offered to take him out for donuts in consolation.

“I wouldn’t be surprised. A bunny like that would have a few tricks up its sleeve.” O’Neill replied with a sage nod.

“I should begin arranging a plan for next year,” Teal’c said as he went to open his locker, “given enough time I should—” he stopped mid-sentence and stared into his locker.

“Teal’c? T? What’s wrong?”

Teal’c ignored O’Neill and focused instead on the small golden egg that sat nestled atop his pile of folded civilian clothes. It was the same as the one that he had found on his bed the year before and he reached out cautiously and picked it up, turning it over and over to examine it from all angles.

“Huh.” Was O’Neill’s only reply. “Would you look at that.”

Teal’c caught the edge of the foil with a fingernail and pulled the wrapping away, then took a small bite from the top. It tasted good, sweet and creamy and satisfying. Truly the Easter Bunny was a worthy adversary.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm not promising a series, but there may be another chapter or two if the stars align. And on the off chance someone has a link they can give me to a formatting cheat sheet for AO3 that'd be really nice because I'm kinda tired of losing all of my formatting.

**Author's Note:**

> So at the end of season 9 in the episode Camelot we learn that someone convinced Teal'c that the Easter Bunny was real. That someone was almost certainly Jack, and this is the fic of how that happened. Also apologies if Americans don't have chocolate Easter eggs as a regular thing. I'm Australian and Google was unclear on the subject.


End file.
